- extracted from "What is Life? To Live a Controlled, Realistic, Happy Life", an award-winning book
When you are not happy with someone or something, what would you do? Generally speaking and traditionally, there are two
major directions to deal with the unhappiness that you confront. First, you need to do something from within by yourself; second,
you would accept the advice from someone else around you.
Commonly, most of people would recommend you to take it easy and relaxed. You back off the situation in which has brought
about frustration, stress, and unhappiness. Or simply you take some time off to do nothing like being brain-dead or to do
something as a form of mental diversion in a hope that you will recover from the shock of stress, frustration and happiness.
The commonly recommended activities to ease and relieve unhappiness have been an active participation in walking, jumping,
running, shopping, or travelling around, locally or globally, by yourself or with group. Subsequently, many commercially-oriented
activities and publications have sprung off and flourished to meet the need for those in stress, frustration, and happiness. Due to
the involvement of monetary incentive, the intensifying commercialism and consumerism have outstretched and even distorted
the truth of the value of life. Consequently, oftentimes, what you like or want is not what you want; largely, the outside of
commercial world captures and controls you. Therefore, the effectiveness of relieving stress, frustration, and unhappiness falls
short of its well-intended goal. In fact, more participation in commercially oriented activities would result in never-ending and
worsening of stress and frustration.
Fortunately, life experience itself has taught us what we should do; that is to clearly identify, understand, and inquest the following
1. Who are we?
2. Who or what is someone or something that we are unhappy with?
3. What is the real face or nature of that someone or something that made or has made us unhappy?
From within, something more effective than what the outside world can do for us will follow and emerge. A deep realization of the
following facts of life can potentially and realistically materialize the ultimate goal - to instantly ease and relieve the feeling of
unhappiness, disappointment, frustration, and stress:
1. On its course, life is a process of accumulation, modification, and continuation from inception and to eternity; on its reality, it is
not only a serious, tough, rough business but also a constantly changing, adjusting dynamic process of self-service to gain
and secure the sense of comfort and control - just like applying capital (money) for financial investment, through proper and
effectiv allocation and use of our limited capital of life -
personal spiritual and physical value, ability, and capacity plus time.
2. It is nothing wrong to be self-serving as long as we graciously embrace, respect, and observe the universal principle of act,
that is, what we get is not at expense of others' pain, suffering, and loss.
3. In life, nothing is free and everything comes with price; nothing is priceless but time and so is life; nothing lasts forever except
time, space, and potentially religious eternal life.
4. In the strict sense of reality, every act we take, at the beginning and at the end, is always for us not for others.
5. In life, perfection would and will never be, but perfecting should be. But we always can work toward perfection from
6. An action always follows with its reaction. So, either to serve and to be served or to love and to be loved are merely a pair of
simultaneous events of life.
7. The existing strength of us results from a slow accumulation of our spiritual and physical value, ability, and capacity over
lifetime, which we rely on to negotiate with our internal and external environments for survival and growth.
8. A relationship is the display of getting together to accomplish a higher level of self-service, which we can not have or reach it if
we live alone.
9. Kindness and generosity are merely the byproducts after personal spiritual and physical abundance and comfort.
10. Hypocrisy and commercialism have eroded and distorted the truth of value so that reality and expectation are out of balance
and disappointment, frustration, and stress ensue and heighten.
11. Sympathy eases ill feeling at a time and place, but never help us in a long run; but empathy does.
12. We are never born equal, but we have an equal opportunity to use what comes with life to interact with our internal and
external environment to get what we like, love, want, and need as long as the universal principle of act is observed.
13. More than 60% of power for longevity comes from lifestyle; less than 10%, from medical care.
14. Doctor do not cure any disease, but modify internal and external environments with medication and medical procedure to
allow the body undergoing its self-healing process for recovery, never back to the level before sickness.
15. No one can modify and change lifestyle for us, not drugs or medical procedures, but ourselves; and we do not have other
better choices if wishing to live a long happy life.
16. Quality direct self-service is the surest rescue and passage to a long happy life.
While we are upset with someone or something in life, please take a deep breath, conduct a process of meditation to let the above
string of thoughts flow through our mind. In time, we will realize there is no other better choice but high quality direct self-service.
As a result, we will become not only more functional and independent but less burdensome to us and anyone around. Then we
are at a higher ground of readiness and preparedness to care, serve, and love others and ourselves with more kindness and
generosity. From here, we depart the external control by overindulgence and obsession and establish the kingdom of our self-
Extracted from “What is Life? To Live A Controlled, Realistic, Happy Life”, an award-winning book, by James C. Lin, M.D.;
all rights reserved.
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